Amusing convo with fyerfly21

( Amusing thoughts about 4-5pm -- bizarre IMS are fun )

I'm just burnt out

I've reached some sort of critical mass in my brain, because I have no interest at all in learning about any more directors or films. I need a purpose and watching film is just NOT giving me that purpose at all. This summer, working on a project, working with people, researching and taping and doing anything that needed to be done - THAT gave me a purpose. That's what I need, I need to feel a part of something because right now I just feel so burnt out and unable to do any work at all.

What have I been doing lately? Well, I spent three hours looking for pictures for an icon I wound up *NOT* making. I spent two hours making an icon, etc. etc. The thing is I can't even say it's time management because I have LOTS of time, just no motivation or desire to do anything at all.

I didn't go to class today, didn't go to class tonight - the thought of sitting in the theater and listening to my teacher (who is excellent and amazing), talk about yet another french director makes me want to cry. It does. I wound up going for dinner with my mom instead, who understands how I feel.

My dad has gout so it's not a good time to talk to him about *anything* - he's in a lot of pain and the meds aren't helping. Also, next week, he has a colonoscopy and I'm trying not to worry about that.

I spent thirty minutes in a car trying to remember the name of Grace's husband on Will and Grace just remembered it now.

I also had such a weird dream last night - I mean we're talking like it started off normally and then veered off into bizarreness land. Let me just say, it had something to do with a botched date and a crazy priest burning down a church. Yes. Bizarre. I think the crazy priest was my date's dad, so it was like a backstory, in a dream, I don't even know though.

I know I have to do this work and write these papers, but I can't even get up the motivation to care at the moment. I hate feeling this way too. It's like my mind is here but there's a part of it I can't really access - if that makes any sense.

Unpopular Fandom Thoughts

Maybe I shouldn't be doing this when I'm in this kind of mood. Completely unapologetic about these things.

Idea from fyerfly21 and others.

1) I don't like Six Feet Under. I've tried to watch it a few times but it just annoys me. It might be because I consider American Beauty one of the most overrated films of the past decade.

2) I'm a reluctant slasher. I believe that all fictional relationships are a matter of perception and that once you see certain things you can't *unsee* them. That said, sometimes it's just fun to put together impossible pairings and try to make them work. Also, there are certain pairings that you find possible just for your own and others amusement. I can personally see every pairing that I write or think about - except Nina/Kim I have to admit that's mostly interesting for the impossibility factor.

3) I like Kim from 24. There, I said it. Who wants to fight me?

4) I can't stand Asher in the Laurell K. Hamilton series. I find him boring and annoying. Also, too perfect in some ways, oooh he's all scarred ooh, yeah whatever. I want them to return to focusing on Edward.

5) I liked season eight of XF. I really liked Doggett. I didn't like Mulder when he returned. In retrospect I kinda wish he stayed away. I hated season seven with a passion. I also liked Monica.

6) I was glad when Scully gave up William. I hated the plotline and felt that was the best way to deal with it, also, it fit into the tone of the show.

7) I've tried to watch Alias but I hate Jennifer Garner. I've disliked her for quite a while, I just don't think she's a very good actress.

8) I hate most RPS and the popslash is the most confusing thing ever. I still remember the days when all RP fic was looked down on horribly and am confused about when that exactly changed.

9) The only gay pairing I see in LOTR is Sam and Frodo, but I wouldn't want to read fic about them. I don't get all the rest of the pairings, especially with the rest of the fellowship and I really REALLY don't get the RPS stuff. This might directly conflict with what I said in two, but whatever.

10) I love fangirl squealing most of the time. It's one of the best parts of being in any fandom for me, because fangirl squealing isn't really something you can do with people who aren't part of it. Yes it's teenagery, but I don't care.

Okay that felt good.