catch22girl | Amusing convo with fyerfly21

Bizarre convo with fyerfly21 - FirePhile is obviously me. Comical conspiracy theories - whee.

Fyerfly21: I was pretty amazed with the response time of the medic people. I mean, one minute, and they were there AND had Tony half-way out the door. Whaaa?
FirePhile: and then two minutes later, prepping for surgery!
FirePhile: It's the secret mall hospital
Fyerfly21: Totally! Our mall doesn't have a hospital in it. All we have is an Orange Julius and pretzel stand. Psh.
FirePhile: You have to LOOK closer
Fyerfly21: Oh! The back of the Orange Julius IS the operating room! It does look very sterile back there. I just thought they were good workers, keeping the place up.
FirePhile: Nope. it's an OR
FirePhile: The waiting room is actually the food center.
Fyerfly21: Ah. Good old Food Court. I just thought those who were crying in the food court were the middle-high school students crying over their baby mamma's drama.
FirePhile: Nope, the crying people in the food court are really people who are waiting for surgery to be over.
FirePhile: There's a prison in the mall too, but that's located behind the TCBY
Fyerfly21: I KNEW IT!
FirePhile: Didn't you ever wonder why people just sometimes go to the mall and don't return?
Fyerfly21: I thought they were just mallrats! Dammit! So many misconceptions!
FirePhile: I found it online. It's at www.mallsecrets.com
FirePhile: For instance, not only do the security cameras spy on you -- they send that info to the government.
Fyerfly21: To what end? Why would they ever need to know my shopping habits? Why, I ask?!
FirePhile: They need to monitor our SIZE.
Fyerfly21: SIZE?!
Fyerfly21: Are they shrinking us with the drinking water?
FirePhile: YES. They want to see how heavy america is getting.
FirePhile: So they take all the footage and put it through a computer to analyze.
FirePhile: then they market diet products to us - it's evil and clever.
Fyerfly21: Yeesh. That's devious.
FirePhile: That's right. Then they perform liposuctions behind the orange julius.
Fyerfly21: And neck surgeries.
FirePhile: And open heart.
FirePhile: The doctors from article 99 work there.
Fyerfly21: Heh. Pornstache!