Cleanin out my closet (literally)

[catch22girl]

I have a large XF collection of books and magazines. These used to bring me joy. Today, I went through these books and these magazines and felt...well...not much.

I mean, the thrill just wasn't there -- but I can't get rid of the books and the magazines because they represent a large section of my life (and lets face it, more than a little $$$). I don't know, it's like, I feel like I've left a section of my life I can't quite get back.

I've moved on, and I didn't think -- I really didn't think I ever would. I still enjoy some fic, but the magazines and the books...just don't give me the same happiness they once did. I don't know...anyone else ever feel that?

Comments

[mosinging1986.livejournal.com]

Oh, sure. Interests change and so do people. And it does make you sad when you look at it and realize you've changed and no longer feel the same way. For me, it happens sometimes in a flash. But that is part of the reason I don't like collecting stuff. I try not to get too emotionally attached to things like that.

Even more difficult is losing friends as they move on and interests change. I tend to be very cautious in fandom online relationships. I've learned that what I may think is a real friendship is simply a shared interest for a period of time, and when that's dies out, so does the friendship.

Ack! That sounds really sad, doesn't it? Anyway, that's just me. People are different. I know there *are* real friendships that can last if people choose to maintain them beyond the "fandom".

As for the stuff, if you can bear it, there's always ebay ;)

Fandom Friendships

[catch22girl]

Even more difficult is losing friends as they move on and interests change. I tend to be very cautious in fandom online relationships. I've learned that what I may think is a real friendship is simply a shared interest for a period of time, and when that's dies out, so does the friendship.

It's really sad, isn't it? It's so odd how your best friend one month can be someone you never talk to the next. For instance, I had this really good friend in x-files, and then she got into buffy/angel and we never really talked after that. I don't know, it was odd. It's always odd. And it does hurt.

I know that friendship can exist beyond fandom...it's just that it's not the same level of constant talking, sometimes. It's odd, people move on, I mean we all do...but it's still odd.

Well it lasted eight years, so that's not bad for attatchment :)

[robynwithay.livejournal.com]

I so get this. I love using that phrase.

Anyway my point is, I have a box in my room of stuff. And once a year or so, i go through it. It's letters, scrapbooks, keepsakes, movie tickets stubs, magazine articles, pin ups... And there's a sense of emptiness and longing that I can't really explain, but i can't throw any of it away and I find myself myself inexplicably adding to it each year. I think it's just the growing up thing. The best way to decribe it is in the care bears II movie (an item in my box)... And like the above comment, i miss people from fandoms that have fallen out for various reasons... but i think, regardless of the reason, no pain measures up to the pain of a lost friend...

[catch22girl]

I have boxes of that kind of stuff -- especially old notebooks. I don't know why, I keep thinking I'm going to use them, but of course I never have...and freshman year of college was a *long* time ago.

Is there anything sadder than a fandom that falls apart? Friend against friend...etc. I have 100+ XF magazines, some of them from like 1994/1995. I think it's growig up, I'm not sure. Care Bear II? LOL. I liked the first one, Forest of Feeling, Carealot and Earth aren't far apart...that's right, I remember that song and not -- oh -- anything important :)

[donna-c-punk.livejournal.com]

Surfed into your LJ via cinesister but I had to comment.

This is so frickin' weird because I had this exact same experience about two weeks ago. Searching through some boxes of old junk, I found an entire container filled with magazines, buttons, trading cards, etc. for XF. I was close to chucking it then I just COULDN'T. XF was my first major fandom and it intro'd me to some of my oldest online friends.

That crap is still sitting in the container in my basement.

[catch22girl]

It's like this stuff that just gets pushed aside year after year -- like, letters from friends you haven't seen in 10 years, things like that -- things that intellectually you know you should get rid of but just...can't. Also, you never know when the cycle will come around again...and if twenty years from now you saw XF stuff going for hundreds of dollars (well whatever the inflation equivilant would be), you'd just kick yourself really. Plus, it has all these memories attached.

Yup, I know XF was your first major fandom -- because you were one of the first fans I met :)

[donna-c-punk.livejournal.com]

Yup, I know XF was your first major fandom -- because you were one of the first fans I met :)

LOL! Then Jen told you who I was! Cool! Among those things I still have, XF-wise? I have some stuff from you, too! I wasn't gonna throw that out, though. That was some of the stuff I was gonna keep when I was separating them into piles ... before deciding, "I can't!" hehe.

[catch22girl]

LOL, yup, she did, a while ago actually :)

I love the look of your LJ btw.

I have so much that if I ever move I'll have to think about...but right now, I can just...shove things...aside :)

[donna-c-punk.livejournal.com]

I love the look of your LJ btw.

Thank ye! My lovely friend, silverthoughts, designed my layout. Everything on the Chicago layout is by her. She's fab. :D

I have so much that if I ever move I'll have to think about...but right now, I can just...shove things...aside :)

Some of the magazines I might end up chucking, sooner or later. I tossed a couple, and that was hard enough. I went through all my boxes with Buffy-related merch not too long ago as well, tossed some stuff out. Thankfully, XF taught me not to sink TOO much money into fandom merch. So when Buffy started to suck (no pun intended), I wasn't out so much money as I was with XF.

Now, though, most of my fandoms revolve around things with little to no merchandise - such as particular movies, comic books, and HBO series' - I'm a die hard for Six Feet Under and instantly fell in love with the brand new Carnivale - and Queer Eye For The Straight Guy on Bravo. Of my current fandoms, I have the most junk for Harry Potter easily. After five books, I haven't been let down. The movies for it, on the other hand, are another story.

::stick finger down throat::

Blah!

[catch22girl]

That's a seriously beautiful LJ :)

XF was my big fandom for years -- so I wasn't out money as much as just having *way* too much stuff.

Harry Potter is great! I really fell in love with the books...I can't wait for six. I was looking at that pottersues community *shudder*...excactly why do people write those stories again? I think it's to torture the general audience, but I could be wrong. I thought my current fandom wouldn't have much merchandise, but then 24 started having stuff. I ordered a script :)

The movies aren't horrible...they're just not very -- exciting.

Would it be okay if I added you to my friends list?

[donna-c-punk.livejournal.com]

Would it be okay if I added you to my friends list?

Don't mind at all. I'll add ya back as soon as I finish this reply. :)

I ramble about sci-fi shows alot, though. Mostly Enterprise and Stargate. And a plethora of other things.

[memysza.livejournal.com]

Heh, I'm just the opposite, I'm still in the clingy phase where I just keep making a pile of all the X stuff I find. Then again, I was very restrained in the money I did spend, so there are a couple of things I'm still looking for.

But yeah, you come across stuff and it's like, "Oh, god, I miss that but I'm already changing from who I was even when the show ended..."

And man, yes, I mourn losing touch with the people most of all, even as I spend less and less time online these days. : /