catch22girl | Thinking about the past

Yesterday, I talked on the phone for the first time to a net friend who I've known for at least five years. It was so weird in a not at all weird way, and I wonder why for some reason we never thought of it before. It also made me think, about how many people I've talked on the phone or how many I've met in person and how many of those people I don't talk to anymore.

I think it has to do with changing fandoms. There are so many friends who went into other fandoms, like Buffy, Angel, etc. And somehow we completely lost touch. And it's weird, because it always felt like we had so much else in common, and we did, but people drift, I know that.

I was talking about it with my friend on the phone briefly, and it just made me a little nostalgic. I think part of it might have been my fault, in a way, and part of it is just the way of the world. There are two people who I know exactly why we aren't friends anymore, and the rest of them, well, I think it's just that we went seperate ways.

And it's sad, the day you realize that someone on your buddy list, or email address book, or phone book is someone you never see anymore. Or when you do see them, you have no time to talk. Then, there are the friends who just sort of vanish off the face of the earth. People who know your secrets, but lost 'net access, or became insanely busy.

I miss some old friends very much, and sometimes it feels like only yesterday that I was first getting into x-files fandom.

Which is another thing -- I will always love the memory of the show and treasure everyone I met through it, but lately, actually watching episodes isn't giving me the same joy it once did. That's something else I was talking about with my friend, how the way we got into and enjoyed X-Files was a way that we will never get into or enjoy anything else. But that has a lot to do with age, because as I got older, and studied more about film and fiction, I appreciated the aesthetics and the acting and the story lines more than I was insane about certain characters getting together or obsessed with actors.

Which makes sense, 'cause I was 16 when I started watching and 23 when it ended. A lot changes in seven years. I know I'm not the same person I was at 16, hell I'm not even the same person I was at 21.

But what is odd, is when you see someone you used to be friends with pop up on a livejournal somewhere and you wonder if you should say hi. Or maybe that's just me.

I can't help but think how weird it is that you can talk on the phone with someone for hours and hours and hours, know intimate details about their life, and yet somehow drift apart so easily.

Yeah, I'm in a sort of thoughtful mood right now.

*hugs to friends list*